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Coyote Grill website
31621 Coast Hwy, Laguna Beach, CA 92651 (949) 499-4033
I regret to even think about the experience I just had. Let alone relive it through the written word. But I have a right and a duty as a citizen of this planet to inform, as well as warn, my fellow Earthly inhabitants of establishments who feel so entitled as to have Fish Tacos on their menu yet know little to nothing of the dish itself. Not only will you, dear reader, be warned here, but I plan to go into great detail with painting you a literary picture of my journey through the very depths of Fish Taco Hell, and my courageous tale of survival....Let's begin:
So I plan on heading across the street to the newly reopened "Papa's Tacos" to try out the Fish Taco that I've heard spoken so highly of. I decided to take my 4 year old son, Federico, with me because he was good and his little sister, Sofia, got herself a walk with daddy just a bit earlier. After a quick 5-10 minute walk, we arrive at our destination only to be told by the man behind the counter that they just closed for the day. They close at 6:00pm. It was 6:08pm. The nice man informed us that the grills were off and that they'd be open tomorrow and later in the evenings after a month or so, as they were just recently opened.
What's that over those distant mountains? A couple dark clouds? Hmmm. Better stay on my toes.
I noticed across the street a little hip looking restaurant kind of place called "Coyote Grill". Name sounded safe...hell, they even had a moderately tattooed fella in a sleeveless shirt out front standing behind a podium underneath a Corona umbrella that I could only guess was a valet.
So I take my son in to discover a crowded bar scene. Hmmm, the restaurant must be beyond this spectacle. Upon further migration toward the back I encountered a hostess ready to seat me. I humbly declined and ask for a take-out menu. I then inquired about the ordering process and was instructed to give my order to the bartender. "Why would I continue with my venture at this point?", you ask? Let's label it: Morbid Curiosity on a bed of Blind Determination then generously topped with a healthy dose of good 'ol fashioned Primal Hunger. Truly a recipe for disaster if there ever was one, and with that being the case; it was 'Bring Your Son To Work' day and I was the head chef.
After looking at the menu, I found 2 different Fish Tacos each displaying different ingredients AND different prices. Of course I ask the bartender about what the difference might be between the 2, and the response was that there was none. I suggested that it seemed the price was different. It turns out one of them was a lunch menu item...it still doesn't explain the different ingredients...How about you, O reader, help me out with this one:
Exhibit A: Page #5 of the menu, top of the page, under the heading "Especiales De La Casa" we find the first entry to be "Fish Tacos" described as: Bits of fresh fish and veggies on soft corn tortillas served with rice, black beans and our secret sauce. $11.50 (Secret sauce?! what was I thinking? Was I even reading the menu?)
Exhibit B: Page #7 of the menu (There's 8 pages, by the way. 8 pages!!) top of the page, under the heading "Comidas" we find the entry titled "Fish Tacos" described as: Grilled fish on soft tortillas, with shredded cabbage, cilantro, tomatoes, cheese and secret sauce. Served with rice and beans. $12.50
I'm guessing from the $35.00 check that I must have ordered the latter of the two.
Wow, those dark clouds seem to be getting closer...and are those bats flying around inside them?
So after about a 15-20 minute wait, the hostess comes out with an impossibly tight and snug plastic bag with what I had to assume was everything I ordered...2 orders of fish tacos and a small quesadilla. All I could think about was taking the bag and getting the hell out of there. I then put my son upon my shoulders, grabbed the bag, and did just that...hightailed it right back to the condo.
Dark clouds....moving fast...
We made it back home unscathed and I plopped the bag onto the table then proceeded to unwrap the contents. Honestly 3 of the most odd containers I've seen in a while...once again made of some plastic styrofoam hybrid material that was no doubt unhealthy for any environment. You know,...even McD***ld's uses cardboard containers nowadays. Really, people.
Immediately upon opening the containers with the fish tacos, we were greeted with a strong, and quite foul fishy stench. Well this isn't promising. Let's take a look at what we got here: 2 apparent tacos, chunks of fish strewn around some rice and black beans, a container of something and a wedge of lemon. What am I looking at here? What is going on? What have I done?
Well, guess what. I had to try it, regardless of the smell...walk with me...
Imagine about 15 white fish chunks (you can't tell exactly what kind of fish it is) seemingly sauteed with some sort of lemon pepper salad dressing then smothered in the Jack/Cheddar mix that you'd find in the cheese section of your nearest WalMart, on top of that picture some shredded red cabbage, diced tomatoes and a ton of cilantro as if it were lettuce. Now imagine all that on 2 corn tortillas fresh out of the bag...ok? got that all? Now imagine biting into it... Well I finished one. Questioning myself throughout the whole ordeal. Here were some of the questions: Why are some chunks slimy and some chunks super dry? Is this really all marinated or sauteed in lemon pepper dressing? What is the deal with all this cilantro? It's like a cilantro salad. Why am I leaving these huge pieces of fallen fish for dead instead of eagerly gobbling them up? Why am I still eating this?
Well I chose not to put myself through that torture any longer and decided to try the sides. This isn't a blog on side dishes so I'll be quick: Black beans obviously cooked with ham or bacon. I'm a vegetarian so I won't be having another bite of that. Rice with a strong chemical aftertaste. I'll pass. Salsa in the cup? Sure, I'll try that too. I was hungry still and I did spend a pretty penny. Whoa! That stuff was hot. Thanks for the heads up people, let alone a choice of heat factors for that. I guess you just assume everyone likes it insanely spicy. And the lemon...really? A lemon?
I was still hungry so I decided then to dissect my wife's remaining taco for anything edible. After close inspection I found pieces of sauteed onion that was probably cooked with the fish and some residue of what seemed to be some sort of mayonnaise based sauce. The secret sauce??!! Tip: Stay away from menu items labeled "SECRET". I then had a couple bites of the outer corn tortilla, but by this time my mind was a reeling mess and I was pretty much done with the whole ordeal.
I feel like I should throw up, lest I fall victim to food poisoning from questionable fish. I ultimately had to call the place to find out what kind of fish they used in their fish tacos. They explained they used Mahi. They didn't care to comment on how long they've been sitting on it though.
I'll end this on a LESSONS LEARNED type note.
Don't order Fish Tacos from a place that doesn't specialize in such.
Don't trust 8 page menus.
Always inquire about ingredients first.
Always check the contents of take out containers.
TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.
I don't recommend. I will not return. I am scarred.
I probably need to go back to Baja Fish Tacos to recover from this trauma.
Baja Fish Tacos website
30242 Crown Valley Pkwy #B5, Laguna Niguel, CA 92677 (949) 495-1537
Oh man. We definitely got lucky.
So we needed to take a trip to Walgreen's to find some urgently needed, last minute provisions. We soon found ourselves at our destination at about 12:30 in the afternoon when my wife asks me how hungry I'm getting. Usually when I get this kind of question, it's due to the fact that she's getting pretty hungry and she's trying to gauge when the next meal will be available by determining how hungry I am. Turns out she was in luck because my hunger level was at about an 8 on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being 'Famished'. She also pointed out at this time that across the street from the drug store, hidden in a quaint little strip mall, was a sign for a place called "Baja Fish Tacos", and me going out and getting fish tacos all the time has put her in the mood for such. She also pointed out that it was next to a Vons and that we had some shopping to do. (This was apparently intended to reinforce the urgency of the need for sustenance and to improve the chances of trying out a new fish taco with me. Fair enough.)
Upon entering, my immediate thought was, "Uh oh. Franchise. Oh well, lunch is lunch. I won't get my hopes up." As I get to the counter and check out the menu, I am happy to notice they offer blackened fish. (I've been leaning toward blackened lately.) So I order 4 of the blackened fish tacos to share with Heather and a quesadilla for the kids to share. I was given a plastic number to take to our table and we sat down. For the record, the plastic number did not help in making me feel any better about how to expect my tacos.
So after a brief wait, the tacos arrived, and I must admit the small size of the tacos also did nothing to make me feel that I was going to be eating a satisfying lunch on this day. Not to say they didn't look good. They looked fabulous. As you can see, for each taco there was a large piece of blackened Ono (Wahoo, but they didn't call it that here), smothered in finely shredded fresh green cabbage, a bit of what seemed to be freshly made pico de gallo, all on top of 2 warmed, fresh corn tortillas.
Upon first bite I knew that this place was a good find. These things were mind blowingly delicious. I was a little curious about the lack of lime though, but it seemed to be an ingredient in the pico anyway. I was also curious as to what the fish were blackened with. Personally, I think I detected cinnamon, but whatever it was, it worked. Heather mentioned how well the addition of a little Jack cheese worked with the tacos, and I shrugged for a moment at how preposterous that comment was, until I investigated a little and discovered myself that there was actually a small bit of the aforementioned ingredient on my tacos as well. It was barely noticeable and somehow a benefit to the flavor of this fish taco. I might have to reevaluate my opinions on cheese and fish. These 2 tacos were awesome.
Heather just then commented on the fact that they also have on the menu the option of ordering your fish taco "Ensenada Style", which is having the fish beer battered and baja sauce added in place of pico. (Baja sauce is sort of a spicy mayonnaise based concoction.) 
I had to order one. Who knows when I'd be around this neck of the woods again. (You know I will.)
These arrived pretty quickly and were just as fresh tasting and delicious as the last order. Another noticeable difference was the amount of fish on these things. There were about 5-6 pieces of cut beer battered fish on each one! That's a lot more fish than I usually encounter in a fish taco. Not to say it wasn't well received, we just gave the kids a piece or two out of the taco to make it more easily manageable. I did order just one taco to share with Heather, but apparently an order consists of a default 2 tacos. That's fine. Maybe I did order 2...who knows. I'm not complaining as these were some of the awesomest tacos to date since I've started this literary venture....So anyway, to sum this up: I have not yet invented a cute and catchy system to rate my discoveries, but if I had, these would be at the top end of that rating system.
Blackened Ono Taco (1) - $2.75
Ingredients: Blackened Ono, pico de gallo, shredded green cabbage, Jack cheese, 2 warmed and fresh corn tortillas
Ensenada Style Taco (1) - $2.75
Ingredients: Beer battered Ono, shredded green cabbage, Baja sauce, 2 warmed and fresh corn tortillas
I recommend this place. Check out the website up top to find out where the locations are, they're about 4.
Oh yeah. There were limes. Right behind the partition by our table was the salsa, lime and condiment bar...next time
King's Fish House website
1521 West Katella Ave, Orange, CA 92867 (714) 771-6655
This morning I found myself in a high power meeting involving the heads of multimillion dollar corporations discussing the fate of humanity and the Earth's ecosystem. After about 4 hours of intense brainstorming and collaborating, we all decide that the best immediate action to be taken was...lunch. A popular lunch venue for the local offices happened to be a place called King's. I've been to the one in Las Vegas, but only for sushi and before I discovered my obsession with Fish Tacos. If you've never had the pleasure, the place seems like your standard middle to upper class seafood franchise. Sort of like the Macaroni Grill for seafood.
Anyway, we grab a seat, our waiter brings us a cut wedge of sourdough and some pats of butter, asks us about drinks and disappears. We then decide to continue the conversation on the salvation of the world for bit while we peruse the menu. I had a pretty good idea what I was going to order and kept it to myself until we were visited by the waiter again.
So, As soon as the waiter arrives I order...get this...Blackened Swordfish Tacos. Because here, you can order fish tacos with ANY fish on the menu! Huzzah! I also ordered a small mixed green salad with bleu cheese dressing, but that's besides the point and irrelevant at this juncture. After a short wait my tacos arrived and they looked good.
They're were 4 of them. Each one on a single, firm corn tortilla. As you can see, there was a single slab of blackened swordfish nestled on a bed of finely shredded green cabbage and blanketed with a pico de gallo, fresh cilantro and crumbled, mild feta. All this with a welcoming half of lime.
This was a well thought out presentation compared to Wahoo's or Roberto's. I was delighted and ready to eat. Upon first bite, I was immediately taken to a magical place where Smurfs ride Care Bears and the rivers run freely with sparkling Voss. These were good tacos, and I invented them! I take full credit. And for allowing me to create these...um...creations, I must thank this so-called King's place. Allowing the client a smidgen of creative input works. I am familiar with this tip.
Anyway, here's the gist.
Blackened Swordfish Tacos (4) - $7.95(?) The one's I ordered I have the feeling might have been a little more costly because they were a more entree style and less appetizer style as explained in the menu. I would know the exact amount had I participated in the cheque.
Ingredients: Blackened swordfish, pico de gallo, cilantro, shredded green cabbage, corn tortilla and a half of lime (on the side)
I highly recommend these and would definitely return with the possible intent of trying it with a different fish. Go get one.
Roberto's Taco Shop website
7155 Grand Montecito Pkwy, Las Vegas, NV 89149 (702) 396-9159
So my wife, Heather, had a hankerin' for quesadillas this evening. Particularly quesadillas from Roberto's. Well, what better chance for
me to find out if Roberto's does fish tacos.
Turns out they do.
So, amongst other things, I order 4 fish tacos with the intention ow writing about it.
I get no choices or questions about how I might like my tacos. the lady at the counter just nods and takes my order. This sparks some interest as I'm usually given some sort of option. It's nice to leave it up to the artists for a change.
This Roberto's is just around the corner from Sammy's, so experience tells me the tortilla life span could be jeopardized if they're corn tortillas. (I'm watching 'Scanners' right now so excuse me if I stray from topic)
Anyway, we get home and start unloading stacks of styrofoam containers, which I can't say I feel good about. I don't know why these things are still manufactured...it's ridiculous. (Fun Fact: You know when a Scanner gets shot in the noodle, other Scanners seem to pick up on it)
So let's open this thing up then, shall we?
Well, so far so good...Although no ingredients were displayed or divulged in any way, the contents of these things are pretty recognizable:
Corn tortilla (single), wait a second...I can't remember if that was cabbage or lettuce. Looks like lettuce, but I didn't notice it not being cabbage. Oh man, what a day I'm having today...whoa. Deja Vu...that was sort of cool...and while watching 'Scanners' no less. Well, this review is ruined.
On a side note, the fish seemed to be fried Cod. The salsa was good and there was a sandwich bag full of limes. There was some sort of indiscernible sauce on them that was tasty yet suspicious. Sort of like the half opaque tartar sauce you find in 3rd rate packets at gas stations. Tasty though...MSG tasty.
All in all these things were pretty tasty. And for $2.40 a pop, I was very happy...but I cant continue this with a clear conscience due to the cabbage/lettuce issue...I'll get back to this real soon. But till then, I'll be in Laguna Beach for the next week or so and you can expect a few more reviews from there...
Stay tuned for Part 2
Wahoo's Fish Tacos website
10436 Craftsman Way, San Diego, CA 92127 (858) 487 -0288
So I had to drive out to San Diego last Friday for an important meeting and I decided that I'd like to enjoy some fish tacos for lunch on the way back. Considering where I was, I typed in "fish taco" on my iPhone's map app and found a Wahoo's that was in the direction I was headed. Now I know there's probably a million better choices for fish tacos in San Diego, but I was in a hurry and I've had Wahoo's in Laguna and the experience was not too bad.
Here I go to the "Order Here" spot at the front counter and I start really exploring this menu up on the wall trying to find the word "tacos". I had to have it pointed out to me hidden under the phrase "A La Carte". Fair enough, let's do this. I order one Wahoo taco and one spicy Mahi taco...both blackened...it was an option...there
was no asking me if I wanted flour or corn tortilla and since I was in fish taco country, I felt I had nothing to fear. I was asked what I'd like to drink, and I chose a nice sparkling water to quench my thirst. I was then given a number to take to my table of choice and released into the sticker adorned dining area.
One thing I immediately noticed about the stickers is that they were all "Wahoo's" stickers...nobody put they're own random stickers around, nor did it seem like when they opened this place, anybody had any random stickers to throw in to the 'ol sticker pool to help create an air of a "Local Hangout". I thought for a moment that a "FAIL" sticker would be appropriate, but I was ill equipped for the task. This place revealed to me an obvious chink in their marketing armor.
Anyway, here comes the server lady looking for the table with the 44 on it as she's holding a tiny little white plate with what seemed to be some small salad...What's this? She's looking for me? That mine? Oh. That's two fish tacos on that saucer...good thing I ordered chips and salsa..
Ala Carte - $1.95
Ingredients: Cooked (couldn't decipher how.) Wahoo (we catch these things in bulk?) or Spicy Mahi Mahi fish, finely shredded cheddar cheese (seriously), finely shredded green cabbage, tomato salsa (multipurpose), double corn tortillas with a single wedges of lime on the side.
Verdict: If you're looking for a quick fish taco for two bucks and are anything but picky, throw in a preference for cheddar cheese on your fish, and this is the place for you...
From my experience, there's better places to go if you appreciate a good fish taco.
Sammy's Woodfired Pizza website
7160 N. Durango Drive Las Vegas, NV 89149 (702) 365-7777
So it's Mother's Day and due to some illness with the kids, we decided to order out for some fancy foodstuffs. We finally decided that maybe we'd give Sammy's another shot after writing them off several years ago due to not being too impressed with our experience.
After perusing the website (the kind of website with annoying music that doesn't give you an option to turn it off) we were excited to discover that Sammy's had FISH TACOS! Specifically Mahi Mahi tacos. Described as follows: Crispy Mahi Mahi Tacos with creamy tomato cilantro dressing, lime, guacamole and salsa with your choice of flour or corn tortillas.
Well I couldn't pass up this opportunity to further my explorations of the plane of existence that only fish tacos are privileged to permanently inhabit. But I digress. Let me tell you about my experience...
So after getting a busy signal a few times, I was finally lucky enough to get through only to wait about fifteen rings while worrying that they might be closed on Sunday following in the footsteps of their fellow local eateries. Upon eventually answering the phone, I was quick to order 2 orders of the Mahi tacos to go. My mind reeled momentarily when they asked if I wanted flour or corn, as this was a to-go order and I am no stranger to the short life span of a corn tortilla, when combined with fish and other assorted edibles. Yet I had to see....I had to know... so 2 corn and 2 flour, if you please. I was then asked if I wanted coleslaw or french fries with those. I know, right? Not exactly what I expected to hear, and honestly sent a sliver of dread up my spine for fear of my making a huge mistake. I then continued with ordering a couple more things off of the menu irrelevant to my literary endeavor, was told it would be ready in twenty minutes and bid adieu.
Twenty minutes later, I find myself looking for a place to park. Fast forward to standing in the bustling lobby, anxiously awaiting the beet and arugula salad while my fish tacos (2 on corn tortillas) threaten to decompose by the minute in the huge clear plastic container that they mock me from. Salad's here! See ya....time to haul my ass home!
Aside from the environmentally catastrophic presentation, these things looked pretty good. It was also obvious that these were, for the most part, of the "Do It Yourself" variety. Fair enough. If they put salsa and guacamole in there and no chips to speak of, then apparently the condiments are intended for the tacos themselves. I felt inclined to oblige. I did notice something was missing though. The advertised "creamy tomato cilantro dressing". Bummer. I was somewhat looking forward to what they might have had to offer in that category. Needless to say, this posed a situation for the fish. Because now there was no hiding under some fancy sauce.
I started with the corn tortilla taco first, due to the fact that the disintegration had already begun and because I didn't want to be forced to use a fork (For a taco? Bastards. Never.)
Every bite of this particular taco was delicious yet awkward. The corn tortilla barely made it. I found it hard to focus on the particulars of this one due to all my thought processes going to keeping that thing together. On to the flour tortilla taco...
Guacamole, pico de gallo, red cabbage, a squeeze of a juicy lime, a crunchy perfectly cooked piece of Mahi Mahi and a not too crispy, not too soggy flour tortilla equaled easy to handle deliciousness in every bite.
Well done Sammy's, well done.
Although how can I rate this first experience with this establishment's fish tacos when an apparent crucial ingredient, that was so proudly included in it's description, was neglected to be added to these tacos at all? I believe I have to review these again, which I don't think I'd mind. Although with being so impressed with the sauce-less tacos, how will I enjoy them when they do decide to add sauce? Will the sauce ruin them? Or will they just take those things to the next level? I'm not sure I like being in this position. Either way, part 2 of Sammy's will most likely be shorter.
I would definitely recommend these for the people who like a fish taco with breaded fish. The corn tortillas would be sublime for dine-in, but for take-out I would recommended the flour. Actually, I don't think I'll ever order corn tortillas again for my fish tacos if I'm ordering to-go from anywhere. It's just not worth the trouble to me.
Crispy Mahi Mahi Tacos (2) - $9.95
Ingredients: Battered Mahi Mahi, creamy tomato cilantro dressing(?), lime (on the side. I got 1 single wedge), guacamole and salsa (more like pico de gallo) with your choice of flour or corn tortillas
3 thumbs up for the sauce less version...stay tuned for the review of the sauced version. Really good.
PART TWO!
Well I had a chance to go back today for some Fish Tacos again only to be met with a bit of a different experience.
This time I ordered just 2 orders of fish tacos for my wife and I while on my way home from work...I opted for flour tortillas and, oh yeah, coleslaw. Cause what else goes better with fish tacos than cole slaw? Am I right?
Anyway...We get there and I send in the wife this time to let her get a glimpse of outside the car for a bit. She deserved it. So she gets back in the car after a few minutes and explains to me that she mentioned the "creamy tomato cilantro dressing" to the person at the register and they mentioned that it is usually put on the side to let the customer administer it at their leisure. Like last time right? Yeah. No. Apparently after the register guy moves on to the next customer she said she noticed it ON the tacos....Classic. OK....back to the house...
So I open these huge, clear plastic containers up to see my tacos and I don't see any sauce on those things...well there was...but maybe a teaspoon...barely visible...ok...maybe it's too powerful to apply in large amounts. I get it. So I put on the guac, the tomato salsa and the lime...wait...there wasn't any lime...what. the. fuck. Seriously? A guy can't win for losin' here...Anyway, I like lime on my fish tacos and I usually have some on hand, but what am I paying for here?
Verdict: Officially deemed inconsistent. Which will cause me to not hit this place up so much in the future, because I likes me my consistency. The tacos were great, but c'mon people. when you give someone something to look forward to...deliver on it. And there's no difference whether they remember or forget the "creamy tomato cilantro dressing"....there was so little of that stuff it didn't make a difference....And being a non-smoker/non-drinker, don't question my trustworthy taste buds. I would be able to tell if it mattered.
Anyway, there you have it...
6630 N. Durango Drive Las Vegas, NV 89149 (702) 836-ZABA (9222)
So I decided to inaugurate my blog with someplace close to home and an establishment that I'm already familiar with. Cheating? Nah, I call it familiarizing myself with this whole bloggering process. so...
Zaba's has a few locations around town and I like it because they make everything from scratch, including the sauces like the Chipotle Ranch, which is awesome. It's no secret that I am a stickler for fresh and additive-free ingredients.
Anyway, I got the usual order of their fish tacos which consists of 3 with your choice of flour or corn tortillas.
Each taco consists of 1 tortilla (I actually prefer 2 tortillas when it comes to corn due to the heightened disintegration factor of the tortilla), 1 piece of what was explained to me as "Premium Cod" shaped like a rectangular bratwurst that has been battered and deep fried, a lot of what you would expect from a Pico de Gallo, a healthy squirt of their Chipotle Ranch dressing, a pile of shredded green cabbage and about 3 or 4 wedges of lime. I often will attempt to extract juice from these limes, as it makes a nice boost of flavor, but I believe they might just be for decoration as I can never seem to get anything out of them. 
I would suggest eating these at the location because the tortilla disintegration was well under way upon arriving home after my 5 minute journey from the location nearest my house. Flour tortillas, of course, have proven to be hardier...but I will always prefer the corn tortilla for fish tacos until something sways me otherwise.
One interesting tidbit that I feel should be mentioned, is that this place is 'burrito bar' style like Chipotle or Qdoba's. That being said, the fish tacos take a few extra minutes to make, so after ordering you find yourself in a position to awkwardly find some place to hang out around the cash register while everyone in line behind you now become people in front of you. Sort of weird momentarily, but if your social skills are well adapted enough to enable you to hang around not looking stupid, then this shouldn't be a problem.
One order - $7.59
Single taco - $2.69
Ingredients: Battered premium cod, pico de gallo, chipotle ranch sauce, green cabbage, flour or corn tortilla with a few wedges of lime on the side.
Good stuff. I would recommend it as well as return for more. As I have been...
